I just got off the phone with Angie, (actually I kicked her off the convo because I need to fulfill by NaBloPoMo commitment for Saturday) and our chat about my Business in Pajamas blog post got me thinking about…well…me.
I walk around with a huge chip on my shoulder because I feel that people who judge me by my appearance don’t take me seriously in the business world. I’ve addressed this topic before in this post where I vent about looking young and simultaneously having responsibility. But the big question remains, am I asking for it?
Does my behavior and/or appearance warrant being marginalized? Let’s break this down a bit more. What are the factors that influence the marginalization of me and how do I contribute to or enhance this marginalization?
1. Being Female – As a woman living in a transitional world, men are still reluctant when it comes to giving me (and women everywhere) the same respect that they give to my male peers. I’ve learned to never expect respect and to walk in a room with my game face on; ready to field tough questions and respond in a way that demands respect. I don’t ever, however, sacrifice my femininity. I wear cute shoes, style my hair, use perfume and lotion, paint my nails (when I have time), read fashion magazines, eat chocolate etc. I love being a woman, until its a disadvantage and then I try to talk like a man (thankfully I was raised in a sports household so I can always pull out the sports card if need be).
2. Looking Young – read this blog post for my unabridged thoughts on this area. I certainly don’t indulge in the youth of my appearance unless I’m in a social environment that is completely disassociated with my work life. At a bar I love the instant gratification of being carded and having men guess my age to be 22 or younger. I hope I’m blessed enough that my youth will follow me through life and not prevent people from taking me seriously.
3. Dressing Provocatively – Men notice pretty women. I like to be noticed. I dress first to satisfy my vanity and second to impress my audience, whomever that may be. If I’m having lunch with an important man or prepping for a PR pow-wow, I take extra effort to look put together and to add just a hint of sexy. Whether I choose to wear those strappy silver stilettoes or the blouse that brings the eye to my decolletage, I calculate my look to get me what I want. Sometimes it’s easier to get noticed for my appearance then it is for my brain. Is it so bad to demand attention and ask for respect later? Does this approach perpetuate the marginalization misogyny?
4. Being Real – I don’t apologize for being loud, opinionated, smart, sassy, determined, or outspoken. My blog is simply the online extension of me and I blog about what’s real to me. I have knowledge to share. I have conversations to add to. I have grievances to air. I have guilty pleasures to disclose and rich experiences to relate. This is the forum in which I choose to do all that. I’ve been told that it’s not wise to blog about anything you wouldn’t want a future employer reading. While I agree that this is something to keep in mind (I’m not as raw I was on myspace), I believe in openness and transparency, so am I asking for trouble?
