When I moved to New Hampshire I knew that I was leaving behind everything that I loved for an amazing opportunity to advance my career. I recognized that the transition would be tough and that as hard as I tried I would never be able to find another human being that would love me and add to my life in the same way that my best-friend Angie does. I knew that this relationship could never be sustained on the same level if I moved 3,000 miles away. I knew all this and yet I still left my home, San Diego. I left because the single independent woman inside of me couldn’t pass up the professional opportunity of a lifetime, and I left because I believe that the foundation of my relationship with Angie will never be rattled by the distance. I left because I wanted to stop waiting for my future and make it happen.
But then there’s the now. The painful middle ground between my future professional freedom and my past familial and friend-centric utopia. As I write, I’m sitting in the Las Vegas International Airport awaiting my flight to a place that I still can’t call home, Manchester. Vegas was the best. It was an amazing business trip with some excellent networking advancements and some new knowledge to fill my head as I truck forward through life. Vegas was also the reunion of Angie and Jenn. Angie took the week off of work so that she could meet me in Vegas and spend time with me during my work-free moments. Thank God for Angie. I’ve been dying inside without her, without my home, without everything that matters to me.
But right now. This moment in time. I feel the most excruciating sense of loss. The Vegas euphoria is leaving my body and the memories just aren’t enough to sustain any sense of happiness. I feel empty. I said goodbye to Angie and cried in front of strangers as she left me. I cried at Coffee Bean. I’m crying now. Having her physically in my life since Tuesday was amazing, but saying goodbye yet again is impossible.
I’m going to allow myself a little self-pity indulgence for the remainder of the day. But tomorrow I’ve got to wake up and focus on the fact that I love my job and that I’m doing something with my life that is meaningful and rewarding in the long run. As Angie said, “I’ve got to believe that something great is going to come of this.”
Browse Timeline
-
Angela
