Having recently gone through a pretty extensive RFP process in my professional life, I’m discovering some interesting applications to my personal life and find myself thinking around the RFP process as a metaphor for my dating life.

The Request For Proposal Process:

1. Definition of Scope of Work (SOW). The application here is in my inability to clearly define what it is I want, which I know to be fairly common in the business world. Sometimes I’m absolutely certain that I won’t settle for a man unless he is tall, educated, financially secure, passionate about me, family-oriented, a non-smoker, a social drinker, a man of faith, and not in a hurry to have kids. I lay out all these qualifications because I know, from past experience, that I shouldn’t settle for anything else. But then the proposals come in and I’m forced to settle for something less than I requested.
2. Pre-Qualification of Suppliers. In the business world it’s only reasonable to use recommendations as a way to identify potential bidders for the RFP. In my personal life I use this process in much the same way. It’s very unlikely that I will extend an offer to compete for my SOW (whether that be a date, a relationship, or something else (wink)) unless I have prior knowledge of who you are as a man. Sometimes this knowledge comes via word of mouth and sometimes its gleaned through observation, but rest assured that if you want a date with me you’ll need to go through the pre-qualification process.
3. Submission of RFP to Suppliers. I suppose I accomplish this by making myself available. It’s definitely more subtle then the business process, but I open myself up for response by dressing to the nines when I go out, socializing with interested parties, announcing my availability, and drinking.
4. Suppliers Intent to Bid. Just as a Supplier would make their intent to bid known to the company who created the RFP, my suitors make their intent to deliver on the SOW by calling after an exchange of information. Calls received within three days or less are considered meeting the Intent to Bid deadline, and these men remain open for consideration. Those who don’t call will absolutely never be considered again. Of course there is some consideration that occurs if a call is received too soon, and the man in question seems too eager to compete for my attention. This behavior is a definite red flag.
5. Submission of Proposals. All parties wanting to date yours truly eventually put all their cards out on the table. The RFP and proposal evaluation process specifically applies to my dating life such that I can’t reasonably evaluate one man without another man in the picture. There’s definitely something to be said for a competitive platform. For one, most men love a challenge . In addition, the introduction of competition makes them step up their game a bit. The more options available the more opportunity I have to select the things that really matter most to me.
6. Supplier Selection. This is always the difficult part. Narrowing multiple opportunities into just one right decision can be difficult and stress inducing. The promise in the proposal isn’t always kept, and usually a contract is signed such that removing yourself from the contract is painful and uncomfortable for both parties. Engaging in a relationship is either one of two things, fruitful and fulfilling or headed towards eventual demise.
7. Project Management. In the same way that a business relationship starts out extremely rewarding, my relationships start well but quickly unravel. Unforeseeable challenges develop over time. The conversations can start friendly, but eventually teeter on abrasiveness, and there’s always moments of miscommunication and misinterpretation.

If you really think about, dating is just one big RFP. Care to share your thoughts?

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