I was recently contacted via email by an ex-boyfriend from what feels like another lifetime ago.
In the interest of this post, I’ve decided to clip a small part of the email. His words describe how he found me.
I was clicking around yelp for reviews for that area and saw a review of yours. I found your blogs through that. It was weird to catch up with someone who wasn’t there.
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Where do I start? Obviously he could be reading this now, and I think it’s only fair to state that I haven’t responded to him yet. To speak to the world is easy. To speak to him is like reliving some of the most painful moments of my young adult life.
I was 18 then and definitely less aware of me. He wasn’t the best boyfriend. I wasn’t the best girlfriend. The details of the relationship are dramatic and tragic, novel-worthy to say the least. Truth be told I’m just not capable of reopening those wounds, of dealing with a past that I no longer talk about.
He’s probably changed. His email was kind. His words were sensitive. The woman inside of me wants to respond back, but I can’t. The loves that burn the most certainly scar the worst. My scars are permanent; these scars may be internal but they live on inside of me and I carry them with me.
His email, this reminder of things past, this attack on my current state of mind, it’s driving me mad. After all these years, how can one ex turn my world upside down with an email send button?
Adjusting to this shock is key. There’s no telling how many other ex-boyfriends will surface again. Let’s just hope their emails are kind and the memory of me doesn’t prompt some nasty blog comments.
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