I’m in the mood for a little sauce. I’m almost 100% healthy again, which means I’m pretty much back to me again. Self-indulgent blog posts about sick yearnings are a thing of the past (for now). Plus I’m a little fired up about reading and commenting on one of Angie’s latest posts, if you haven’t read it already, I won’t mind if you read it and come back – it’s a must read.

Let’s talk about numbers.

Here was my comment on Angie’s blog (mainly directed at Jack for his ignorance in claiming that Angie is deceitful and promiscuous for not wanting to reveal the number of men she’s slept with):

“First of all, I couldn’t have written this post any better. It’s spot on and speaks to the exact reasons why I think the numbers game is a bad one to play (especially since you can’t trust a single person to give the right one anyway). Obviously, as you point out, sexual history is key, and questions about STDs and testing are legitimate and necessary. People offended by these questions should help you keep your clothes on.

I love your point, “it only takes one partner to contract STDs.” I hate to break it to all the guys who are being miseducated by Roissy, but a girl who is less sexually promiscuous or not a “slut,” in their terms, is by no means a free pass to go without a condom.

Unfortunately for Jack he obviously lives and dies by the logic of Roissy, which is flawed existence to say the least. Start asking women how many men they’ve slept with and you will find yourself having a lot less sex. Why his followers (and that’s what they are) can’t conjure up some healthy respect level for women is beyond me. The real world consists of people. Constantly trying to bed every hot woman you meet is a shallow and futile existence. Life is about so much more than getting laid. Of course there are women on the prowl in much the say way, and I hope these women find these men, which brings us full circle. If you want an easy lay you can bet that it ain’t your game that is getting you ass, but the fact that the girl wants the same thing, probably making her number pretty darn high. Seems like “sluts” are exactly what are you want then Jack.”

I have to admit that once Jack confessed to have found Angie through Roissy’s blog, I was quick to lump him into the male pig category. Jack may not be a Roissy Jr., but his overuse of the word “slut” and his quick to judge nature proves he’s headed in that direction.

So back to the loaded question at hand…

How many people have you slept with?

It really shouldn’t matter. Read Angie’s points on this, I can’t say it any better than her. I can speak to the reasons why this question gets asked so frequently, and some key attributes of the person(s) asking the question.

Better questions then the one above…

Who’s asking and why do you want to know?

There a few types of men that ask this question (these categorizations could just as easily apply to women too):

1. The less-than-experienced man – the question comes from a place of insecurity or inexperience. He’s either afraid that he won’t stack up in the sack, or he really just doesn’t know that he shouldn’t be asking the question. He might even think the question is cute or playful, and he certainly means no harm by it.
2. The more-than-experienced-facade man – he may or may not want to know your actual number, but he’s secretly hoping that you’ll ask the question back so that he can display his possibly concocted prowess. Instead of revealing a number, he’ll probably feed you the “you don’t want to know” or the “it’s too high to count” line. Some guys develop an inflated sense of self from the number of women they bed, and aren’t afraid to broadcast their behaviors. Others just want you to think that they’re the man. Regardless of whether or not it’s a facade, this man is a tool.
3. The judgmental man (like Jack) – the question comes from a place of judgment (and possibly insecurity). He has some arbitrary and misguided number in his head that he deems reasonable. He wants to know because he thinks he has mastered the girlfriend equation, and this variable is essential to determining whether you’re greater than or less than his standards. This man is a bigger tool.
4. The confused and curious man – he really doesn’t have a good reason for asking, expect that he just wants to know. A lot of the guys I’ve dated fall into this category. The topic piques their curiosity, but when it’s time to move on to the next subject they aren’t capable of letting it go. Funny thing, not one of these guys ever told me their number.

So if you still feel like asking for a concrete number, what kind of guy/gal are you?

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