This post was inspired by my daily perusal of all things pop culture, which includes a quick stop at PopSugar, where I found a quick blurb about dining solo. The general consensus in the comments was that those who dine without the company of another party are practically pity-worthy.

More than a few years ago, I was very much of the opinion that going it alone was for the sad and pathetic. Why would I want to subject myself to such scrutiny? A funny thing happened, as my numerical age increased, my alone-in-the-world insecurity decreased, allowing my self-confidence and contentment with life to blossom. I started slowly with a movie, a drink, more frequent and longer coffee house stays, and then I progressed to lunch with a book, magazine, or laptop, ultimately arriving at a place of peace when it comes to dining alone without the security blanket effect of don’t-approach-me-or-pity-me armor.

In the process of unmasking my single woman masquerade, I’ve discovered a few simple truths about why doing dinner and drinks for me can be better than the twofer alternative.

Company Does Not Equal Good Company

Out on the town, I’ve been exposed to diseased duos and contemptuous companions. One particular incident, while I was solo in Manchester, not only endeared me to dining alone, but helped me appreciate the joys of single life. I happened to be eating my Panera staple of chicken noodle soup in a bread bowl, when a fairly hostile voice pierced the silence of the dining room. Granted I couldn’t quite make out the exact words, but a woman was dining with her boyfriend or lover, and after several shrieks, it became clear that he was loving on some other woman. After about 10 minutes of boisterous battling, the man under siege stormed out, leaving the bewildered woman alone with a mouthful of curse words left to spew at the air. How sweet it was to be solo at that particular in moment in time.

Single, Solo, and Approachable

Behind the facade of a confident male, there usually exists a little boy who is still scared of rejection. Question this statement? Just go to any club, restaurant, or bar and look around a bit. Guys aren’t jumping out of there seats to approach women with friends. A gaggle of gals is a potential disaster zone for most men; they’re confronted with cock blocks, chatty cathies, and conversational pressure. Even when a man does risk the rejection, he is more likely to do so when the friends flock to the bathroom or go for a cigarette, leaving the object of their desire invitingly available.

Going out alone has been a blessing in disguise. I’m automatically the most attractive option in the room, because I appear self-confident, secure, and approachable. Another story from my Manchester days tells the tale of a girl (me) desperately wanting to watch the Chargers play the Patriots (while in New England territory) in a social setting. Instead of using the obvious deterrents as a motivation to stay in, I put on my Charger hat and headed to a local bar. Before I had time to walk in the door, I was spotted by a very attractive Charger-clad cutie also braving enemy territory. Conversation initiated instantly and in a few minutes, I had my pick of 5 (2 single) sports enthusiastic males. Although none of the connections panned out, I did make some cool guy friends and I was able to have a good time despite the fact that the Chargers were served a beating (so sad).

Closing Thoughts

You’re entitled to your own opinion, and I’d love for you to share it here, but the next time you judge a solo diner or drinker for their singular ways, remember this blog and reflect on the fact that the pity might best be applied to the person doing the judging.

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