Let’s just say that I’ve been in long term relationships that eventually run out of gas and for one reason or another, I’ve found fuel from other people. Of course I think cheating is wrong, but I know from experience that cheaters aren’t always bad people. This post combines 10 years of behavioral analysis in the cheating situation. Hopefully none of you find yourself in this situation, but if you’ve been there feel free to add to the discussion in the comments.

Women cheat because one or more of their needs are not being met. Those needs can be physical, emotional, or sexual, but because women tend to cheat differently than men, the signs are pretty obvious if you’re paying attention.

Signs She’s Cheating

1. Her attitude about sex has changed. Anytime there is a measurable change in the amount of sex your having in your relationship, you can be sure that there is a reason. Women feel an overwhelming amount of guilt when they cheat and this usually translates to a difference in behavior when it comes to sex with their significant other. In my experiences, the guilt is so overwhelming that I try to further distance myself from my partner, and that can be accomplished by eliminating sex. Plus, I’ve always been very monogamous so having sex with two people in a short period of time feels worse than having sex with just the man I’ve cheated with. Some women, however, respond by being overly enthusiastic about sex because they’re hoping that their man won’t notice a change in behavior or be suspicious of the affair. If either scenario sounds familiar, you might want to consider the possibility that something could be very wrong in your relationship.
2. She’s suddenly more comfortable spending less time with you. Guys tend to be the less clingy of the sexes (although I’ve had a few boyfriends who proved the opposite can be true too), so if your woman stops demanding more of your time, it’s time to think about the reasons why. As mentioned above, cheating is a heavy and weighty thing that remains on the woman’s mind long after the affair. It’s pretty typical for a woman to start wanting more space so that she can avoid having to lie to her man or feel guilty all the time. Cheating can make a woman more closed off and desirous of spending less time with the significant other she knows she’s doing wrong by.
3. She thinks your cheating. This may seem ironic or inappropriate, but a woman who’s cheating will usually become more suspicious of her man. Given her feelings for her man (especially if she loves her man), it’s easy for a woman to let her infidelity cast doubts on the fidelity of her man. The logic is that, “if I’m cheating, then he’s probably capable of doing it too.” Of course cheating rocks the foundation of any relationship, so when that foundation is shaky things that you’ve accepted to be true (ie he is faithful) come into question. The difference between a jealous woman and a jealous woman who is cheating, is that the one who is cheating won’t check your phone as readily as the former. The cheating woman is too afraid that you’ll check her phone.
4. She leaves the room when she gets a phone call. A woman who cheats needs to talk about the situation with her friends. The guilt is overwhelming and the confusion can be too much to handle. A woman needs her best friend to tell her she’s not a bad person, or to give her valuable insight. Instead of taking these calls in your presence, she’ll find a way, or an excuse, to get a comfortable distance from you. If your gal suddenly stops answering the phone when you’re around or moves to another room, make sure you find out why.
5. She’s sweeter than normal or more understanding of previous behaviors she used to despise. A woman doesn’t want you to know something is wrong or awry with the relationship until she’s decided how to process the affair. To keep you from finding her out, she’ll be as agreeable as possible, even it means letting you stay out all night with the boys.

Let me reiterate that cheating is wrong. I seriously hope to find a relationship, and eventually a marriage, where both parties are faithful, and I’ve made a conscious decision since my last relationship to never settle for anything less than a relationship that can truly satisfy all of my needs. Cheating, for men and women alike, usually happens when we settle down with people we like (maybe love) before we realize that we can’t get everything we need to stay faithful. If you’re cheating, it’s time for you to move on or fess up. If you’re afraid of coming clean because you don’t want to lose your significant other, I suggest taking some time to reflect internally. If you can’t honestly commit yourself to staying faithful and not straying again, it’s time to make some major changes.

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