Comments on: Defining Sexpectations http://contentdynasty.jennifervangrove.com/2008/04/defining-sexpectations/ Fri, 07 Oct 2011 04:02:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Ursula http://contentdynasty.jennifervangrove.com/2008/04/defining-sexpectations/comment-page-1/#comment-228 Ursula Mon, 12 May 2008 15:18:56 +0000 http://contentqueen.wordpress.com/?p=131#comment-228 Hi, I've been in your exact same situation too many times to count. The thing is there's always a time to communicate what you want and how you want to be treated. True most men think that it's not possible to befriend a girl and not have sex with her but there are also many who can. I have many friends that I know for many years that I don't have sex with. I also happened to have had sex with one of my great friends but end up still being friend because both of us are not comfortable in pursuing our sexual relationship but prefer to keep our friendship. It felt like incest. I also have some "fuck buddies", means friends that I fuck just for sex. So it's okay to get carried away by the moment and yet want to be respected and appreciated. People and relationship do change. It's how you react to the change that counts. Some people change from friends to lovers without a problem like I am now with my boyfriend. Some people feel uncomfortable having meaningless sex even if it was just being carried away like in your case. If you want to salvage it, you can ask your partner to accept your terms or just be friends. You can also salvage it by asking him what he wants and expects from his association with you. If his expectation meets your expectation than you can carry on, right? Otherwise just say goodbye. Hi, I’ve been in your exact same situation too many times to count. The thing is there’s always a time to communicate what you want and how you want to be treated. True most men think that it’s not possible to befriend a girl and not have sex with her but there are also many who can. I have many friends that I know for many years that I don’t have sex with. I also happened to have had sex with one of my great friends but end up still being friend because both of us are not comfortable in pursuing our sexual relationship but prefer to keep our friendship. It felt like incest. I also have some “fuck buddies”, means friends that I fuck just for sex. So it’s okay to get carried away by the moment and yet want to be respected and appreciated. People and relationship do change. It’s how you react to the change that counts. Some people change from friends to lovers without a problem like I am now with my boyfriend. Some people feel uncomfortable having meaningless sex even if it was just being carried away like in your case. If you want to salvage it, you can ask your partner to accept your terms or just be friends. You can also salvage it by asking him what he wants and expects from his association with you. If his expectation meets your expectation than you can carry on, right? Otherwise just say goodbye.

]]> By: Robin http://contentdynasty.jennifervangrove.com/2008/04/defining-sexpectations/comment-page-1/#comment-222 Robin Tue, 06 May 2008 02:30:37 +0000 http://contentqueen.wordpress.com/?p=131#comment-222 If nothing else, you have inspired me to develop my own concrete, well thought out, (and maybe even documented in writing) set of sexpectations. If nothing else, you have inspired me to develop my own concrete, well thought out, (and maybe even documented in writing) set of sexpectations.

]]> By: Joe http://contentdynasty.jennifervangrove.com/2008/04/defining-sexpectations/comment-page-1/#comment-223 Joe Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:37:44 +0000 http://contentqueen.wordpress.com/?p=131#comment-223 You and clearlii have answered the question. You say the sex was good and it was comfortable but you weren't even friends . . . thanks for playing. Ultimately, I believe relationships work when, if you totally subtracted the intimacy, you would still be friends with that person. My two cents. You and clearlii have answered the question. You say the sex was good and it was comfortable but you weren’t even friends . . . thanks for playing. Ultimately, I believe relationships work when, if you totally subtracted the intimacy, you would still be friends with that person.

My two cents.

]]> By: Jenn http://contentdynasty.jennifervangrove.com/2008/04/defining-sexpectations/comment-page-1/#comment-225 Jenn Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:50:32 +0000 http://contentqueen.wordpress.com/?p=131#comment-225 clearlii (angie) has a good point, my losses really aren't that much at this point. I can find a million men who want to bed me, so why bother worrying about one man who obviously doesn't get me? I have this philosophy about relationships, when it's unbalanced it will never work! @eMarv you're right in theory, but in practice when you start to "like" someone the whole fuck 'em attitude is hard to maintain. To say that I wasn't disappointed would be a lie, however, a few days later I do feel pretty content with how everything played out. I'm finally learning to say what I need to say and walk away if things aren't going to work. @Seth Caldwell wow that would be nice, but I'm not sure that's ever happened to me...here's to the future! clearlii (angie) has a good point, my losses really aren’t that much at this point. I can find a million men who want to bed me, so why bother worrying about one man who obviously doesn’t get me? I have this philosophy about relationships, when it’s unbalanced it will never work!

@eMarv you’re right in theory, but in practice when you start to “like” someone the whole fuck ‘em attitude is hard to maintain. To say that I wasn’t disappointed would be a lie, however, a few days later I do feel pretty content with how everything played out. I’m finally learning to say what I need to say and walk away if things aren’t going to work.

@Seth Caldwell wow that would be nice, but I’m not sure that’s ever happened to me…here’s to the future!

]]> By: Seth Caldwell http://contentdynasty.jennifervangrove.com/2008/04/defining-sexpectations/comment-page-1/#comment-224 Seth Caldwell Fri, 25 Apr 2008 06:02:14 +0000 http://contentqueen.wordpress.com/?p=131#comment-224 I think finding someone who meets your sexpectations without you having to state them is what its all about =) If they don't meet them, next them. I think finding someone who meets your sexpectations without you having to state them is what its all about =)

If they don’t meet them, next them.

]]> By: eMarv http://contentdynasty.jennifervangrove.com/2008/04/defining-sexpectations/comment-page-1/#comment-226 eMarv Fri, 25 Apr 2008 05:45:37 +0000 http://contentqueen.wordpress.com/?p=131#comment-226 It's your life. You can set sexpectations & change them whenever you feel like! If the person you are with is understanding & likes you for more than just a booty call, then they will adjust. If not, then screw them (well maybe not literally, or maybe just once for old times sakes). Even people that have been married for umpteen years make mistakes (probably one of the biggest is not setting sexpectations) so no worries and know that you are learning every second in ur life! TTYL! (Twitta 2 u L8R) http://twitter.com/eMarv It’s your life. You can set sexpectations & change them whenever you feel like! If the person you are with is understanding & likes you for more than just a booty call, then they will adjust. If not, then screw them (well maybe not literally, or maybe just once for old times sakes).

Even people that have been married for umpteen years make mistakes (probably one of the biggest is not setting sexpectations) so no worries and know that you are learning every second in ur life!

TTYL! (Twitta 2 u L8R)
http://twitter.com/eMarv

]]> By: clearlii http://contentdynasty.jennifervangrove.com/2008/04/defining-sexpectations/comment-page-1/#comment-227 clearlii Fri, 25 Apr 2008 05:07:27 +0000 http://contentqueen.wordpress.com/?p=131#comment-227 I think you already know that the answer to this question is no. Especially after that sort of reception, it's best to cut your losses - which, in this case, don't sound like many. I think you already know that the answer to this question is no. Especially after that sort of reception, it’s best to cut your losses – which, in this case, don’t sound like many.

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