I'm Sorry but I am a man and right here and now I feel the need to ask of you politely, Check yourself before you wreck yourself. #1 My Dick is at its best showing if I am lucky almost 6" and nothing you can say will make me feel good about that particular point, Have you seen the size of those guy's in porn? #2 anywhere I go I rule the roost and as a rule any Yahoo that happens to feel that he can take the lead away is 1 A fool 2 To damned drunk for his own safety or 3 Not long for this world. I set the pace and mood others instinctivly fall in line. #3 A sure thing more often than not 9 times out of 10 means Predator, Seriously Defective Mentally, DANGER WILL ROBINSON, and or Botched sexual reassignment/hackjob who is without a doubt intentionally jacked up on fertility drugs. #4 Rarely if ever do I even make eye contact let alone make an effort to speak to any woman until I have been properly introduced and still then she must initiate the action of even exchanging civil pleasantries no matter how attractive I find her to be. #5 If you personally were to show no interest in me at all, It is highly unlikely that you would ever have known I was ever there. But if you were to "Dangle that Carrot in front of my Face" of course I would ask you to dinner and a movie and maybe in 6 or 7 weeks I would hope that you would feel I was worthy enough of your affection that you might consider Fucking me on a hopefully permanent basis and if so I would need no affirmation from you other than the way your face would light up when ever you and I were to see each other again after being apart for any period of time. I guess what I'm saying is don't even think about starting to think that you know how I am wired because when all is said and done that extra 12' of rope that I afford you is not very likely to be a sign of trust NO I just want to watch a good hanging now and then!

I think in general you are on to some solid concepts, but I believe that, at least from this male's perspective, could be slightly flawed. That can merely be a product of a non-stereotypical male, or perhaps that all men cannot be clumped into one pile of generalities. Regardless, here are some thoughts...

1) Perhaps it's the guys you encounter who are single and out on the town, but I don't think all guys disregard consequences, at least not intentional. At least for me, I usually begin with completely altruistic intentions, but then the resonance between the two creates the environment for less admirable thoughts. It's as if we are constantly fighting that devil on our shoulder, and he doesn't go away. But if you have an inkling of willingness, then we will happily listen, depending on our depth of moral character.

2) I think men want to be affirmed, there's no doubt about that. But "ego" has such a nasty connotation to it. I think we have insecurities that are masked, and when a woman takes away those insecurities, we feel comfortable to be ourselves. And really, that's what you are looking for anyway right ladies? Something real, sensitive and true?

3) Yes, I probably have a flirting problem. The thing is, at least with me, that it is not tightly bound to sex as you make it out to be. I love to see a woman happy, or smiling, especially if that woman is working and I'm not. Why? Not because of some odd fantasy of bedding a maid, but because I want them to feel cherished and loved. Too often women in those lines of work are not, and I think that's a tragedy. I enjoy getting a laugh or smile or even a look because it reveals the woman's true beauty and character.

4) I agree more with the tribe paradigm. We will all normalize to one mass of stupidity. In a work environment we will all try to emulate the most mature in the group. In a play environment we will emulate the most immature. So yes, we all want to "fit in" and will adapt to do that. Is that solely a male trait?

5) Yes, men love the chase, the thrill of the hunt. For me, the harder the nut to crack, the more alluring. But you need to be careful too. If you don't open up, the man will hunt the easier prey that still is a challenge. If he were hunting (and I don't hunt but I'm using the analogy), and saw a 10 point buck, he would chase for awhile. But if the buck looked difficult and he spots an easier 8 point buck... he would go for that instead.

Jason, thanks for the long and detailed comment, though essentially you're agreeing with all my observations and just adding caveats.

re:1 - It's not conditional to guys that are single or out partying, trust me. You did hit the nail on the head with the unintentional part, though, it's biological and sometimes reactionary, but that doesn't make it any less true.

re:4 - The tribal paradigm is unique to men. In social settings, women tend to compete for attention so they're less likely to follow the lead of someone else.

Hi Jenn,

Although I don't agree that "every single man" is like that, I do know lots that are, but there are many others that aren't.

I would just make a small change (IMHO) about the "dominate male rules the roost" factor. I think that in this sense, men are like animals, they behave like a tribe... if just one acts as a jerk and nobody says anything, from time to time the others will start to behave like that, even if they wouldn't do that if they were alone... they don't even need a "leader", they just need a stupid one to be a jerk and a few more stupid ones to keep quiet.

That's my two cents. :)

Great post as always!

Best,
Leo

I want to argue with all of these points.

But, I can't . . .