Remember this guy? Well he had completely escaped my mind too, until this evening when he called twice.
Why he called, I’m not too sure, though it’s probably safe to assume that his intentions were less than pure. What I do know is that we haven’t spoke in the two years since the last incident. His words were ominous at first, “Jenn, how’s it going? This is pretty awkward for me…,” and even though we didn’t get anywhere near the deed, I was scared shitless. Guys, I beg you, do not start voicemails with the “this is awkward” line.
The message didn’t get much better from there. He trailed off at times, obviously distracted by the dizziness of a drunken call that he knows he’ll regret in the morning. I make stupid decisions all the time, but just because you have the nerve to call someone who repeatedly blew you off, doesn’t mean you should. Don’t humiliate yourself like that. Just don’t do it.
If I come across as rather bitchy and unfeeling, it’s because this was a man who had made his appearance and subsequent disappearance in my life. It’s like the episode of 30 Rock with Steve Martin, a long forgotten chapter in an otherwise great story. Of course the voicemail did best that horrific 30 Rock episode, because quite frankly, I actually laughed when I realized why he was calling.
And in case you didn’t know, booty calls are bad form if a. you’ve never gotten booty before or b. it’s been more than 3 months since the last booty was had. Life moves quickly, and single people move on. Now you know (though I’m pretty sure you didn’t need me to tell you that).
On a side note: Is it completely coincidental that I’ve been ravenously craving updating this blog with juicy tidbits, and the guy who is the subject matter of my most recent post calls me (two years later) to leave me a random voicemail? I call it a sign. So even though I can’t promise daily sauce from my love live — there’s really not a whole lot to report these days — the strong female in me needs this release this right now.
Flickr photo credit: chilene
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